A genuine and lasting bond is built on acceptance, understanding, and love. Although you may love your partner, there could be some things that you’d like to see change. Only you can decide whether or not those things are dealbreakers, but certain things like abusive behaviors should definitely lead to higher consideration of breaking up and moving on. Alternatively, if it’s just about certain quirks, honoring your partner’s uniqueness instead of trying to change your partner can lead to a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship.

Trying to change your partner can be detrimental to both your relationship and their self-esteem. Trying to mold someone into your ideal vision could imply to your partner that you lack respect for their individuality, and it could potentially lead to feelings of resentment or inadequacy on both ends. Constantly attempting to change your partner could also create an emotional distance that could jeopardize the foundation of your bond.

A thriving relationship is one where both partners are encouraged to grow and evolve while staying true to themselves. There’s nothing wrong with making suggestions to enhance your partner’s authentic self. Suggestions like a different hair cut that compliments their features or creating awareness of a negative or unhealthy habit allows for conversation and deliberation and allows your relationship to flourish organically and authentically.

If you find yourself dwelling on things you want to change in your partner, then you both deserve to be with someone else. You deserve to be with someone who meets your needs and expectations, and they deserve to be with someone who wholeheartedly appreciated who they are, as they are. If you can see yourself moving past certain quirks, focus on your partner’s positive attributes and celebrate the things about them that make them unique. Try to acknowledge their accomplishments more and encourage them in pursuing more (if they are interested to).

If there is something about your partner that makes you uneasy, I challenge you to have a conversation about it where you use “I’ statements for a productive conversation that reveals the realities of change. Learning to accept your partner unconditionally can be a transformative experience for your relationship and lead to an overall increase in the quality of your relationship. Embracing your partner for who they are is a powerful expression of love and respect. Avoid the temptation to change them and instead focus on fostering personal growth, acceptance, and open communication.

Stay Radiant <3